dream a little dream

you just don't understand

omfg you stupid dumbass. you ci to the fucking bai.

WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY MOOD WHEN I'M AT THE HAPPIEST?

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.

lol i'm not talking about Clarissa, i'm talking about my dad.

Yes, my dad.

Now you don't go on & tell me how heartless i am for saying this about my dad.

You're nobody to tell me that.

If you're planning to or you're telling how ungrateful i am towards my dad to that friend beside you,

FUCK OFF, will you?

Stop being such a dick.

Be in my shoes & maybe you'll know how i feel.

k this is not what the post is suppose to be about.

Let's start.

Mid-year's coming soon.

& i don't even know a single shit about physics!!!

& then.. there's the drama.

friends. school. friends.

why are we like this, i wonder.

This year, so much drama, so much gossip, so much betraying, so much backstabbing, so much talking behind the back & so much more.

Kinda like some show on tv.

*sigh

when will all these ever end?

i'm no longer gonna be two-faced anymore.

i'll delete those who i don't like in my life.

if i don't talk to you, then i'm sorry.

you guys made me do this.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

7:42 PM

butterfly fly away

Sometimes i wonder, am i doing okay?

i feel like a loner.

After what i've heard, i don't know who to trust anymore.

who to turn to. who to talk things to.

yes, i am sensitive. You know me.

you know me for 2 years & 3 months already.

Sometimes i take things personally.

Sometimes i take things to heart.

But you already know that.

& you guys tried to change me.

what d'you think i am?

i am not a monster for you to experiment on, okay?

i am emotional, sensitive & fragile.

you guys know that, so DEAL WITH IT.

if you can't & you think i'm too much & i can't take those stupid motherfucking jokes of yours,

then BREAK OUR FRIENDSHIP.

i don't wanna live with people who don't care about my feelings.

sorry i'm not perfect.

why am i even apologizing? God made me this way.

THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

don't tell me, " no joke no fun! "
fuck your fun, go screw you own dad & then tell me how fun it was.

Friday, March 11, 2011

7:43 PM

fuck this shit

i have this feeling.

i'm in love, & it hurts so much. But whenever he smiles & hugs me, all my problems melt away.

i don't wanna be in love.

but i just am. & i can't help it.

i need a break from life.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

10:41 PM

moving on

i won't let myself fall anymore

& if i ever do, i'll pick myself up

i'll never show how weak i am anymore

i'll be the happiest

i'll keep on laughing until my cheek hurts

i'll smile to people more

i'll be the happiest

i won't give a fuck about whatever people think of me anymore

because it's their brains that they're using

Thank God it's not mine

i'll block out crap out of my head

i'll take in positivity

i'll be the happiest

Even if i feel like crying

i'll still smile & say that i'm okay

i'll be more patient than ever

i'll smile

even if deep down i'm in agony & full of sorrow

Labels: i ain't freakin' i ain't fakin' this

Friday, February 25, 2011

7:32 PM

the truth

Sometimes you feel like you screwed up

you feel like your whole world is falling apart

you heart starts aching

because you've got regrets

you wish you could take it all back

you wish you could go back to the past

& undo your mistakes

But you know you can't do that

because there's no such thing as time machines

& all you can do is cry your heart out

shutting yourself from the amazing world

that you've not met yet

But what's the point

of being miserable all the time

what's the point

of letting your heart get hurt all the time

you wish a prince charming will rescue you

from all the pain & sorrow

but that's a step from impossible

you can't let yourself be like this

you've let yourself suffer too much

you gotta start smiling to the world

& show 'em how strong you can be

even though deep down you're falling apart

& maybe those who are also in the same boat as you

will look up to you & say

" what a strong person. "

& you won't know, you might be the one

who is actually brightening up their lives

& when you take a step back

to see what good deed you've done

you'll finally realize

you yourself is an amazing person

& your heart will stop aching

because you know

you've stopped another person

from being the person who

they don't wanna be.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

8:47 PM

Common Test 1 is over :)

So that's my class up there ^ 3A3 / Hope 3-3.

After our 4D3N camp at the Malaysia Eco Farm.

i miss camp. like " why so sudden.. " right? i know.

Anyway, common test 1 is finally over. :))

i hope everyone will get good marks, esp my class!

hee. Physics paper was like #@$#@* ??!!

Math was ............

& today was art/f&n/POA.

Art was craaaaaazy.

Had to draw a bird. Pelican? i don't know.

it was like, " okay, 5 more minutes..."

& we were like, " what ?! "

okay, maybe not we. Maybe only me & Lal.

So yeah.

I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

you're like the weather.

you can be as angry as a hurricane storm.

as cool as a breezy saturday morning.

as sad as the pouring rain.

Are you like having your period or what?

wait, i don't think so.

'Cause every single day you're like that.

I MISS LAUGHING & LAUGHING & LAUGHING WITH YOU.

but what's the point of saying it.

it's pointless.

It's like, every day it's getting worse.

i just wish i could go back to 2009.

When everything was perfect.

Well, not perfect but all smiles & always happy. :')

xoxo

4:52 PM

common tests fffffffu

So english & mother tongue common test will be tomorrow. TOMORROW. Piece of cake, right? Okay, more like fuck this shit my malay is horrible. i think i'm gonna go study lateron. Study what, i also don't know. Peribahasa lah. what else right. i feel like an idiot talking to myself.. oh, & TODAY IS THE MOST BORING-EST DAY IN SCHOOL EVER. i don't know why. So gonna be busy the whole week. Common tests. Last-minute studying. ~~Lepak skejap.~~ So yeah. Baaaai. ♥

Labels: my blog is officially dead with no fuckers reading it

Thursday, February 17, 2011

8:33 PM

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

butterfly fly away

Friday, March 11, 2011

fuck this shit

Sunday, February 27, 2011

moving on

Friday, February 25, 2011

the truth

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Common Test 1 is over :)

common tests fffffffu

Thursday, February 17, 2011

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